3) Everything is completely different with my children. I have felt the deepest love for them from the second I knew they were in my womb and nothing has ever altered it. I think it's just a different type of love.

I had my girls when I was a teenager, so one seems mostly avoidant, one is anxious. It makes sense, though, because the one who is avoidant was also hospitalized at 10 days old, and because I had a 2 year old at home, I couldn't be with her as much as I wanted. She was later diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and between that and having an abusive father, she has become the most independent of my children.

My boys came along when I was 23 and then 24 and I believe they may be securely attached. They certainly had a much more stable upbringing than my girls. I was a SAHM to them and had a bit more help. I wish I had known then what I know now for all of my children's sake, but I guess we don't know what we don't know.

To foster secure attachments in your children, I do not believe you have to be securely attached. It's more about how responsive you are to their physical and emotional needs. So even though I pull away from most adults, I found myself completely in love with my littles, always willing to listen to their little stories and holding them while they were sick. The biggest issue was that I wasn't in a stable place physically, as a teenager, and should not have been trying to be a mother. I don't even think I fully realized that until I was about 25-26. People would tell me, "You're going to have to sacrifice a lot to be a mom so young." But what they should have said, and what I only realized later was how much my kids had to sacrifice because I was still a child myself. I was willing to make the sacrifices for myself, but if I had realized how much they would be sacrificing, it might have changed my viewpoint.

I also play out the avoidant/anxious scenario in many other relationships - not just romantic. Most of my friends have been the same, often suffocating me with their needs. I'm going to assume they are anxious and they latch onto me similar to a romantic relationship. I actually had a girlfriend during my last romantic relationship that caused problems between my partner and I. They both wanted all of my time and hated each other because of it. It was so weird. Neither of them is still a part of my life.