As a woman who was finishing college and beginning a career leaving a man who was established in his career, I would have been absolutely grateful for the help and support. As it was, we had 50/50 custody and my kids (aged 10 and 11) were returned to me every other week unbathed, without clean clothes, having been fed one consistent meal per day (generally fast food), with a week's worth of homework for me to help them catch up on.

I feel that my situation is the more likely situation in most cases. You might argue that if he'd had full custody he might have stepped up. However, when my boys were 14 and 15 they decided they wanted to live with their dad full time. By the time they realized it had been a mistake two and a half years later, neither had gotten a driver's license, one was failing out of school, the other had dropped out completely, neither was working and they spent most of their time playing video games.

After being home for a few years, I can report that they are now (at ages 20 and 21) both gainfully employed (one on the management track at a local gym that he loves, one at Target) and paying rent, one graduated high school, the other got his GED. They both learned to drive and one is now in school to become a pharmacy tech. They eat and bathe on a regular basis without prompting and both have been dipping their toes into the dating pool.

The simple truth is that many men do not and will not step up. This is likely true for women as well, but society is far less forgiving of the women who don't step up.

I wish that the parenting burden could fall more equitably on both parents, but at this point, it simply doesn't. And then men who don't step up don't seem to feel like it is their responsibility in the first place.