Beautifully written and such a wonderful illustration of how little we truly know the people around us. I'm very sorry you had to find out the things you did about your father upon his passing. It seems as though his guilty conscience forced him to make a post-mortem confession.

In answer to your question, I would tell my immediate family if I were dying - likely my children only. There are so many mentally unstable people in my extended family that I would keep it a secret from lest they make it about themselves.

My daughter has Cystic Fibrosis and those people in my extended family always had to make it about themselves, telling everyone in their circle (or sometimes complete strangers!), trying to garner sympathy. It was ugly and annoying. And completely unnecessary. So I'd be happy to keep those closest to me by my side and let everyone else find out after it was done.