Education here would really come in handy. It's sad to me that we shy away from conversations like this in polite society, because you're right, we all function a bit differently. I've had my own version of not "being able to perform" in that I struggle to reach orgasm if I'm not 110% comfortable. I don't know if I'm the weird one or if other women are just faking it to keep the peace, but I have just realized that casual sex isn't for me. I need a caring partner who understands my needs. We all do.