Either they lack it, and therefore don't know it's a possibility, or they don't believe they can find it with a woman (possibly for the reasons you've described). In either case, romantic relationships suffer when partners can't find connection.

I believe in times past, men were looking for that proverbial trophy wife. They wanted the best looking woman that would have them (or in some cases were forced to be with them) and did not consider, at all, whether they were compatible. I think we're seeing the fallout from that mentality.

Attraction is great - but it fades. Rather quickly in fact. If there is no connection to fall back on, the couples are deeply dissatisfied with each other.

I won't try to place blame since I have no idea if my female counterparts are open to connection either - I simply know that without it, relationships are doomed to end or fall into that roommate pattern that we see so often.