From what you've said, it seems like you were doing those things as a way to get a woman. Men and women are both attracted to whole people. No man wants a desperate woman. Just like no woman wants a desperate man. It is important to be whole - which means happy and fulfilled, even while you're alone - to be desired by the opposite sex.

I wrote an article recently in which I mention this little tidbit - if you love butterflies, you will struggle to chase them, and never be able to hold them. But if you create a beautiful garden, they will come to you.

That's what is needed for BOTH men and women. We have to create a life (garden) that others want to spend time in with us. If you are trying to force yourself into someone else's life (garden) that they've set up, and that they are just as happy alone in as they are with a partner (of which they are now very selective about), you will find yourself scorned.

Why? Because you haven't created a garden of your own and are simply trying to hijack someone else's.

I hope that's not too weird of an analogy, it made sense to me especially when you're trying to attract butterflies instead of chase them.

So glad to hear you have a supportive partner now! I hope you still work on your proverbial garden even inside the relationship!