Haha no, not just about my terrible taste in music.

There seems to be an underlying question in all this - one I would ask myself as well - what did I contribute to the relationship since he was so awful.

I'm glad you asked. As you can see I'm a very self reflective person. Throughout the whole relationship, I believed I was the whole problem. The WHOLE problem. I struggle to connect, and have an avoidant attachment style. He, however, was unwavering in his loyalty and commitment to me.

So I truly believed I was every problem in the relationship. Because I couldn't fully commit. Let him lead the family as he so desperately wanted to do.

I didn't realize you can't force yourself to trust someone that you instinctively don't trust.

I had a counselor shortly after our breakup who was concerned that I couldn't see the truth of the emotional abuse. But I was unwavering. It truly took me six months, maybe longer after our final breakup to begin to understand what had happened to me.

So this is how I unpack it. I can't afford therapy so I write for the world to judge.