I do believe that their friends and social media have a very strong influence on them. Their dad and I couldn't be further apart on these topics either - one of the reasons I left him.

But I KNOW my messages have sunk in to some extent and our family's openness has helped a whole lot. My boys talk openly about their thoughts and feelings on dating and it leaves an opening to correct misconceptions, etc. We also live as a multi-generational family - me, my four adult children and two grandchildren so they are still absorbing my own thoughts as well as their sisters. Once they live on their own, I'll have to trust that something I said stuck - but for now I still have chances to reiterate the lesson in real time. I never preach, however, simply tell them stories about my own experiences to help illustrate some problematic behaviors (for example their father was addicted to porn and video games - so they also saw first-hand the behaviors I'm talking about even if they only know about the video games).

I believe they aren't ready to date - at least not in a serious way. I believe that because our brains don't finish developing until mid 20s, it's probably better for them to discover themselves and how they fit into this world first. So I'm not upset that things are going the way they are right now. One son is the assistant operations manager at the gym he loves to work out at, and is being groomed to become the next operations manager, and my other son is in school to become a pharmacy tech. They both pay rent and help around the house. So I believe they are growing and developing in all the ways they should be for right now. If they weren't, I'd probably help them move out so they could.

Parenting is literally the hardest job on the planet. I highly recommend the book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, the website https://www.gottman.com/parenting/ and reading everything you can about gentle/authoritative parenting.

Treating our children as their own people from the time they're babies is imperative. Guiding them, rather than pushing them, is extremely important so they learn intrinsic motivation as well as what makes them happy, so they aren't so lost when they enter the world. I've written a few articles about my observations and experiences as well if you're interested in those.

Either way, you wouldn't expect to be good at your job without training, so it's weird that so many of us parents just "wing it", especially now that there is information everywhere.

Thank you for reading and commenting!