I do mean this literally. Connection happens outside of the bedroom for most women. If you are not talking and connecting outside of the bedroom, she will not desire you. And if you act like another child to her, being a drain on her emotional, mental, and physical resources, she most definitely will not desire you.

I wrote a few articles about it, because of course I did ;)

https://medium.com/long-after-the-thrill/why-she-wont-have-sex-with-you-anymore-1a7b8a8b295e

https://medium.com/long-after-the-thrill/there-is-no-such-thing-as-withholding-sex-be520aae3dde

Most women need to feel loved and supported before they can begin to feel sexual desire. There aren't "hoops to jump through" per se, but there is absolutely a need to feel like you are partners.

Many men get this so very wrong. They believe they can work late, watch sports, and more or less ignore the relationship and then can't figure out why diving straight in for her g-spots lands him with no sex. Desire, for women, does not begin in the bedroom with touching. It begins outside the bedroom feeling loved and supported.