I follow a teacher named Guy Finley and he talks a lot about how learning actually happens through negation. You can't really teach yourself anything, it happens through first seeing (like a behavior you want to change) and then through seeing it, you no longer feel like responding the way you always have. I don't think I'm capturing the essence quite right, but basically trying to change will never work, but seeing how your actions are hurting yourself and others will cause you to change your actions by default. So the growing is in the awareness. And as we become more aware, we become better people. Anyway, I feel like I'm completely off topic but your comment made me think of him.