I think a better way to determine your love language would be to ask yourself what support you need after the death of a close loved one.
Do you want a hug? (Physical touch)
Do you want someone to just sit with you? (Quality time)
Do you need someone to tell you it's going to be okay? (Words of affirmation)
Do you want someone to cook you dinner? (Acts of service)
Do you want someone to bring you a framed picture of your loved one? (Receiving gifts)
When we remove sex from the equation, I think it's easier to see which love language is actually your default.
Men believe since they want sex all the time, clearly that's how they feel love - but that's not it. They simply THINK sex is their love language and it ruins the whole conversation.
The point isn't that sex is lesser, the point is that it's not greater. And too many men put so much focus on sex that women start feeling objectified, like a vagina with a human attached. Men are often unwilling to do what it takes outside the bedroom to be wanted inside the bedroom but then complain that they aren't wanted.
I am not a high tech blow up doll. You can't ignore my needs and the needs of the family day in and day out and expect sex to still be provided willingly.
High levels of cortisol in women is linked with low libido. So if you're leaving women to manage the household alone so that her stress levels are literally always elevated, you will not be getting sex except through coercion. And coerced sex is a recipe for imminent relationship demise. That's what we're seeing in the world - men who refuse to do their share, yet still expect sex and other forms of care and women walking away because it's never a balanced proposition - women tend to be carrying a much heavier load and we're tired of it. It's far easier to be single.
When women leave the marriage we have far less to do than we did while we supposedly had a partner.
Men, on the other hand suddenly have far more to do because they were taking advantage of their wife's free domestic baby making labor.
