I was a SAHM for 12 years and I am grateful I had the opportunity to do so (the ONE thing my ex did right). I'm extremely close with my 4 children and 2 grandchildren who live with me in a multi-generational home, as of almost 2 years ago.

However, I quit my job at the IRS to do so, and after realizing that my husband was never going to be an active participant in parenting or really anything because of his video game and porn addictions, I chose to leave him. I have never recovered financially from those years I didn't work. Luckily it's more important to me to have had the time with my children, but it's why women, by and large, are refusing to quit their jobs or stay home for extended periods.

And I think your experience of stay at home moms having nannies and sending their kids to preschool at 2 years old (that sounds more like daycare), is a very small subset of women who are actually SAH parents. My younger two did go to preschool at 4 years old but it was for 2 hours, 3x per week. And I helped out in their classes through preschool and elementary school.

I can assure you, I never needed to "find" things to occupy my time, even if I had a short break with them all at school - which was only after raising them for 5/6 years alone at home.

I literally just had the opposite conversation with someone else who told me women do silly "women jobs" and volunteer to pet kittens for fun in the afternoons. So maybe we simply need to stop overgeneralizing based on personal experiences and look at the actual data.

I do question your knowledge about what men do or don't do in relationships, because I am going to go out on a limb and say that men aren't fully honest about what they do behind closed doors, especially with the guy friends they're trying to save face with.

I'm really just over men discounting my experiences in general. I was a trad wife. I had many trad wife friends. When I'm telling you what it was like, you should probably just listen instead of argue.

I promise you, the party that holds less power in any power dynamic always knows more about their oppressor than the oppressor knows about the oppressed. So you might want to start listening instead of arguing. You might just learn something. And also you should read Paulo Freire Pedagogy of the Oppressed.