Interesting thoughts, but I also know that when I feel "needy" it's because my partner isn't as into me as I am into him. We intuitively pick up on that stuff. So that's usually my cue to do the hard work and be real with myself, and more often than not end the relationship.

With someone who truly loves me, I'm able to be needy and messy and he doesn't pull away. It's never a bad thing to be your own person and have your own life, but I'd be leery of any man who makes me feel like I'm too needy, for any reason.