It sounds like you were experiencing Overt Narcissism. It is even more toxic when the perpetrator does not care to hide their behavior. My ex was Covert and hid it so well, I didn't even know that was what happened until after I left him and was able to start analyzing his behavior more clearly - but the net result was the same in the end - I was estranged from all friends and family and he controlled my every movement.

In addition, he was a completely different person with me than with others - I'm not sure how common this is, but he was definitely controlling and his biological kids are not doing well. I hope they don't end up like you and your siblings, but I wouldn't be surprised. Narc's like to turn kids against each other to vie for the top spot with them - by doing exactly what they're told and never questioning. That never bodes well for the sibling relationships later in life.

I hope you have found healing in some form or another. I'm glad there is more discussion and resources now than there ever has been, so we can at least understand wtf happened.