It sounds to me like you do not know how to form connections with women. Women your own age are no longer interested in flirting with some cute guy at the gym. They are interested in finding a man that they can talk to as a best friend, and then the attraction grows - that's when they start to flirt and send the signals. You're trying to short cut the process by skipping straight to physical attraction.

It reminds me of when my ex told me that when he tried to talk to women on dating apps they were shutting him down within 1-2 messages. Literally not even long enough to find out if there was anything in common.

I was nice enough to troubleshoot the issue with him. Turns out he was using the same tactics he used as a 17 year old when he met me. He was trying to be cocky/funny. In essence, he was trying to use pick up lines. He was not approaching women as humans but rather trying to play games to win their attention.

Once he started making conversation based on something they truly had in common that was mentioned in their profile, he started having much more success. They would still dump him after a few dates because he hasn't done the work to be a good partner, but that's a separate issue.

If you want to find a meaningful connection it is necessary to be open and vulnerable and willing to make friends with women, even if it goes no further. Women can smell it a hundred miles away when men are just trying to get something from them. It's how you get labeled creepy.