It's not as dire as all that, thank goodness. She has a degree in psychology as well as a strong backbone. She's the one who put boundaries in place, and sticks to them. If he shows up in a bad mood she makes him turn around and leave.

She was advised by an attorney to NOT file for divorce. At this point, he is agreeing to see the kids at our house (we live in a multi-generational home with my 4 adult kids and 2 grandkids), and that is the safest situation for the kids.

She'd, of course, love to break ties with him completely, but as long as he's willing to abide by the boundaries she has in place she'll continue to do things this way.