Let me give you this one example and see if it checks any boxes -

When we were together I insisted we buy a house. He never wanted to own a house because he felt like it would tie him down.

So I dragged him kicking and screaming through the process. The day we were to close he threatened not to show up.

Like he was dead set against it.

When I left him, I had a townhouse and so I did not fight him for the house we bought together, nor any of the equity.

About 2 months ago, he sold the house and made about 200k from the sale. (I'm a Realtor, so obviously I was following it).

I reached out to him and told him that I would appreciate a thank you since that literally changed his whole financial outlook for the rest of his life. Aside from that, I think he only has like $50k in a 401k.

He refused to thank me, but he did send me a check for $12,000 with no note attached. I literally opened an envelope with nothing but a check inside. And I have no idea where he came up with that amount.

I was very confused as to why he would rather send me money to express his "appreciation" when a simple thank you was all I was requesting.