Okay, I listened to the podcast and I can see why it's appealing to men. I've actually bookmarked other episodes because they sound interesting. I'm not sure if this feedback will apply to all of the episodes, or just the one I listened to but: this is very basic dating/dating app advice. Is this where men are starting from? If so it explains a whole lot.

Presenting yourself honestly, looking for a deeper connection, and delaying sex for a few months are all things women are taught from the beginning. It doesn't surprise me that men aren't, though. In addition, choosing the right pics and talking with her through the app the same way you would in person, and video screening, is all stuff I figured out probably in the early 2000's when I started online dating.

The one thing I disagreed with her on was posting unflattering photos - I think for women it's best to post one or two less flattering pics. The statistics are already so against men, maybe it really is a bad idea for them, but I've found it to be helpful.

The problem I'm having is that I'm in love with someone whom I have a deep and satisfying connection with (we met on an app). I wasn't planning to bring my kids into a relationship after my divorce from their dad, so I didn't introduce them to him for months. By then we had already forged a deep bond. By the time I knew I wanted him in my life permanently and I introduced him to my kids, they hated him.

Eventually it got bad enough (they were barely speaking to me for about 2 years), I had to make a choice. I chose my kids.

It seems unlikely I'll find that kind of connection twice in one lifetime. He believes there's nothing he can do to make my kids like him. I disagree. He has proven to me in the past that he's willing to make meaningful changes (as have I), so there's a part of me that hopes giving him space to work through it will yield a different result that what we currently have. I'm not dating. He's not dating.

It's a difficult place to be. I've written about our connection quite a bit. I'm including a few of the articles in case you're interested.

https://medium.com/long-after-the-thrill/the-only-relationship-advice-youll-ever-need-b528b27acae6

https://medium.com/long-after-the-thrill/what-does-connection-even-mean-3697579baeb5

https://medium.com/long-after-the-thrill/we-only-truly-love-once-in-our-life-b1c45e63348d