This part is so overlooked by inexperienced daters. The point is not to find someone ANYONE who will have you, it's to find someone who allows you to be your whole self without feeling judged.

I believe men are taught to look for an attractive woman they want to have sex with, but not to look for the ways in which they can discover if they are compatible with a woman. So it becomes a dog and pony show instead of an honest conversation about what will and won't make you happy in a relationship.

Men put on a front, pretending to be all the things they are not, and then can't figure out why women can smell that from a mile away and won't engage.

I was recently speaking with my ex and father of my children who said that he couldn't get past the first sentence with a lot of women on the dating apps. I asked him what he was saying to be so offensive so quickly. It turned out he was still trying to use pick up lines like he did in high school.

I told him to try being real with a woman for once and shortly afterward he had a new girlfriend.

Shortly after that they were broken up because he's still a horrible human being, but the point stands. You have to present a real version of yourself.

I wrote this article about it.

https://medium.com/long-after-the-thrill/i-was-a-liar-7064a140a8c7