You are so right on so many fronts. Having a child older in life can be just as difficult, if not more so! I am grateful that I was so young that I can now fully enjoy my grandbabies.

Being unwanted is a whole different animal. If I were to get pregnant now I would abort. No question. I had my tubes tied with my last child and currently do not date, so it's an impossible scenario, but I know this about myself: I'm done raising children. I'm tired. It's unfair to the child, and it's unfair to the parent who doesn't want to raise a child.

I hope you and your mother were able to heal. It wasn't personal, I can assure you of that! She was just tired. She was so close to being done raising babies and was then forced to raise another, against her will. But I'm positive that she loved you. It's more likely that she resented your father for taking away her freedom to choose, and those emotions got displaced onto you.

Were you originally wanted? Maybe not. But once you were here, I'm positive you were loved.

As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts!