Your arrangement sounds fair. I'm not one to judge someone else's agreement, it's more whether one of you feels like you are weighed down with no help. I think it tends to happen with younger couples that don't really know what they're getting themselves into, and find themselves drowning once in the throes of parenting.

As far as moving apart, that's a last ditch effort. Especially if you have kids. I can tell you with certainty that I never wanted to get divorced or live separately. But my childrens' father took advantage of my household labor to the point where, to save my own sanity, I had to leave. I don't think the way we lived was unusual or even extreme, necessarily. In fact, nothing has really changed on his end. He still lives like a slob. He eats out every meal. Leaves his garbage laying around. His bathroom is a hazardous area and his bedroom is even worse. He's just a gross person apparently. So maybe there were just some compatibility issues there.

When that is the case, living apart is necessary. He is also an angry, negative man in general. He was terrible to the kids. He was terrible to me. So, there was just no chance to make it work on any front. At least for me. He was content with how things were.

If you have two somewhat healthy people, I don't know if it gets to that point. But there is a whole mess of people who are struggling with generational trauma, selecting poor partners, and trying to navigate toxic home life. In those cases, as with mine, it truly is healthier for everyone to split up and learn to be alone.